I rarely have complainers at my store, but when I do they make great stories.
I had just opened the store when the phone rang. I answered, but was immediately cut-off by “I need a manager, now.” Oh, grand. Now, when you read her rant, imagine 80% country, 20% ghetto. Strange, but accurate.
Me: “I’m the store manager, what can I help you with?”
CL (stands for Crazy Lady): “You ain’t got no motherf****in’ respeck (yes, respeck) for people in the military!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not really sure what you’re referring to, but I’d be happy to help you if you tell me what the issue is.”
CL: “You tryna mess me around, girl! My baby bought a shirt from you 3 months ago and she don’t need it cause she’s in the army. I want the cash back and you wanna blame me cause I ain’t got no receipt! Well you didn’t give me no damn receipt so you better stop blamin’ the customer and gimme my money back!”
Me: (slightly irritated, slightly entertained) “I promise I’m not ‘messing you around,’ do you remember who you talked to when you came in?”
CL: “You know what? I wanna talk to someone who’s not a minion. Give me a districk (yep) or corporate number.”
MINION?! Bitch please. Now I’m super irritated and not-so-entertained…
Me: “My district manager is more accessible on the weekends through E-mail.” CL interrupt: “I don’t want no goddamn e-mail, I want a motherf****in’ phone number!!”
Me: “I wasn’t finished. I’m going to give you his office number…” CL interrupt: “Yeah, you better stop tryna mess with me girl, what’s your name? You tryna mess with me.”
Me: “My name is Jenn. J-E-N-N. I’m not trying to mess with you if I could just finish my sentence. His office number is XXX-XXXX, but…” CL interrupt: “Is he there today?!”
Me: “No, I was trying to tell you that he’s only here on Mondays and Tuesdays, but his e-mail is accessible on the weekends.”
CL: “Girl you diggin’ yaself a hole. That’s why you gave me his office, cause he ain’t even there.”
Stay calm, Jenn. Stay calm. This lady is stupid, breathe.
Me: “I’m really trying to help you here. When were you in the store?
CL: “We bought it in Atlanta 3 months ago.”
ARE YOU EFFING JOKING?! ATLANTA?!?!?!?!?!?!
Me: “You do realize this is the Tampa store, right?”
CL: “It’s still your store! Just a different state!”
Oh yeah, no big deal. You just screamed at me for 10 minutes for something that happened in GEORGIA!
I told her to go ahead and call my boss, but I really wanted to tell her to jump off a building. Then I booked her a first-class ticket to Crazy Town.
If we’re friends and you act like this, we’re not friends anymore. If we’re friends and your relatives/friends act like this, we’re not friends anymore. If I don’t know you and you act like this, kick yourself.
Write you soon,