Well, Crazy Town has gained another resident this week.  And I know it might be a little too early to judge, but she might be the landlord.

Crazy Town Resident #2: Code Red

Have you guys ever seen those commercials with the magical bracelet that gives you balance and readjusts your equilibrium by… a hologram?  Whatever.  There is a kiosk directly outside my store that sells them.  Honestly, the whole crew there is a little off, but there is one girl in particular who takes the cake on the looney scale.

She tried to get a job at my store, but the minimum age is 18.  She tells me she’s 16, but can be emancipated from her parents so she can work long hours (who does that?).  Well, no can do.  Plus, she is constantly being told by mall management to change her clothes because she looks more like a street walker than a salesperson.

So one day I get to work and I have a male associate, we’ll call him Anthony, up front.  The girl comes in, chats with him, hugs him, and leaves.  He doesn’t know her, so he was kind of weirded out.  She came back in a few times to “look at a jacket” but never stayed longer than a few minutes.  Two days later, I get to the store and Anthony is there again.  He tells me that the girl is nuts and to intervene if she comes in.  Obviously I asked what happened and here’s what he told me…

(Let me preface this by saying that he is probably one of the nicest kids I’ve met)

He was working the previous day and the girl came in to talk to him.  She wasn’t there long, but asked what time he got off.  Without thinking, he told her 5 o’clock, and sure enough she was back at 5 ’til.  He tried to stall, trying on clothes.  She stood outside his fitting room door and asked to see everything.  He came out, bought his clothes, and she stayed right by his side.  She followed him out and asked where he was going.  He said he was grabbing food and going home, so she followed him to the food court.  He got his food and sat down to eat it and she sat next to him.  He said he didn’t say one word the whole time, just sat in silence.  He got up and left and she went… back to work I’m guessing?

Now, I can’t let my associates get harassed, so the next time she came in to talk to him I told her he needed to work, so she left.  I thought that would be the end of it.  Well clearly I’m not psychic.

New kid: we’ll call him Todd.  Super nice, engaged, just moved to Florida.  His second day at the store she comes in looking at the same jacket she “loves so much.” Bologna.  I watch her closely and give Todd the low-down.  She doesn’t introduce herself, but she asks for his name and what time he leaves.  He tells her he’ll be there all night (even though he was off in 5 minutes, smart move) and she asks him if they can hang out when he’s not working.  He doesn’t answer.  She leaves and sits at the kiosk and stares inside.  While she’s conning someone into buying a rubber bracelet, Todd leaves.  She comes in and asks another employee if he’s still there and she tells him he left.  We have renamed this bundle of fun “Code Red.”

The next day, I’m standing up front and she walks in, but it took me a second to recognize her because she dyed her hair, had bangs, and was dressed like a normal human.  She looked cute.  Until she stood 3 centimeters away from my face and asked if I liked the changes.  “So you like it?”    “Yeah, it looks cute.”  “Cool”  Stands, stares, stands, stares… I tried to maneuver around her but there was a wall behind me, finally she left.

Why are people so weird?!?!  I wish I could tell her that stalking is not socially acceptable, but I’d rather not talk to her.  I had to tell her manager to keep her out of my store or  I’ll have to call someone about it.  I’m sure that’s not the end of Code Red.  I’ll probably have an update on her maniacal behaviors.  Stay normal, friends.

Write you soon,

Jenn